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→Distortion Effects Roundup
=== Line 6 Drive ===
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Probably the best all-around Distortion effect. The distortion tone is great - not too much bite or anything off-putting about it. And for using it to EQ the tone, the Mids parameter acts as a center frequency, not a boost/cut. This lets you dial in the specific center frequency you want to boost an amp with.
=== Tube Drive ===
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This is probably the most natural-sounding distortion effect. It basically adds an extra gain-stage to whatever amp you're using, although it can produce a nice distortion all on its own. I use it in front of a Plexi, and with various settings, this produces good Rhoads, Slash, and EVH tones. It has decent headroom, so you can use it as a basic compressor. It has bass/mids/treble controls that make it a good filter for pre-EQ'ing.
=== Screamer ===
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Similar to the Tube Drive, it makes a good pre-EQ choice. I don't use it as a standalone distortion. It has a unique frequency response and compression that makes it ideal for modern metal - you get a djenty presence from it. It won't get 100% clean even at 0% drive, but it's dirt tends to get incorporated into the distortion tone of whatever amp you feed it into. It's also a bit scratchier and colder than the Tube Drive.
=== Classic Distortion ===
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This can sometimes makes a good pre-EQ filter, but is difficult to control on the bass side, often coming out too scoooped. The Filter control requires experimentation to understand. The Treble control seems to effect very high frequencies and things can get harsh when boosted. I try to keep it at 50%. It will get clean at 0% Drive, and makes a decent compressor. I prefer to use the Tube Drive as a standalone distortion. I would try this out where the Tube Drive and Screamer just aren't working for some reason.
=== Line 6 Distortion ===
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I use this as a standalone distortion, when I want a very tight, very distorted tone, similar to a Boss Metal Zone. I'll actually pre-EQ this effect, to dial in exactly the distortion I want. In this sense, it's like having an additional high-gain amp, but you have to pair it with the right amp to get a good tone out of it. I like the Park 75, as it seems to deliver a more natural frequency response than some other amps. Also the Divided by 13 works well.
=== Overdrive ===
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I actually like to use this for a standalone distortion. Pre-EQ'ing a little bass in front gives it a nice warm fuzz tone, and it's not wonky like a lot of the other fuzzes.
=== Facial Fuzz ===
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I use this as a part boost/part standalone distortion into a Plexi for a Hendrix tone. It's got that strange dynamic response you need for that kind of tone. By itself it's a bit much for my tastes. As a filter with mild gain, it's not really doing that much. I use medium gain and output, and let the Plexi add its distortion flavor on top the response.
=== Others ===
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The others sound too wonky to me. The Muff in particular sounds like you're playing through damaged electronics, but maybe I'm just not using it right.